Savior by yong takahashi

I sit on the edge of the deck every morning

as I go over the choice I made last year.

At a girl’s night out, friends asked each other:

“If your husband and child fell into the ocean,

Who would you save first?”

Of course, a woman is expected to

give the politically correct answer.

All the members pronounced

it had to be their golden child but

shuddered at the thought of making

the terrible choice in real life.

Then on a beautiful Sunday morning,

a drunk boater hit us and our family

of three flipped into the deep water.

My husband hit his head before

falling and my son panicked.

I had to make a snap decision as

both began to sink beneath the sea.

I wonder if I’d be happier if

I had chosen to save the other as

regret haunts my dreams each night.

The world judged me as if they

would have made the right choice.

Either way would have blown up

the perfect world I had made.

Everyone abandoned us, the survivors

of that fateful day, floating aimlessly

from one gray day to the next.

And each day like clockwork,

he comes outside and waves at me

and I wave back, thankful for him

but always longing for the one

I couldn’t save.